I carry with me all of our yesterday.
And I spill out all of the tomorrow that’s
clawing from the anticipation in my collar bones.
Leaping from the sweat tucked in the backs of my knees.
Sitting fragrantly where I keep our love.
Your love that sits with the delicate
weight around my finger.
Your love that found a home in the
ridges and roads of my skeleton.
In the calcium of white on my nailbed.
Your love that filters through my type O negative
stream of vitality.
Rare and sacred.
-b
I would do anything to be
in this photo again.
A magnet to your side.
I would do anything to have your voice
be not in a speaker.
I would do anything, to drown
in this distance, and be
falling once again with you.
I would do anything to have your flesh
become my flesh, and your eyes mold into my eyes,
and your palms sink into my palms.
And your plans, become my plans.
My future, becoming your future.
I’m drowning in this distance.
Come drink up this distance.
I am aching in this distance.
-b
In missing him, I felt the continuation of hollowing. I lived in memory. Flipping to each page of our three month tale to find a jump start in inspiration. At times I was surrounded by people and chatter, and I would hit my auto-pilot button, while zooming off into the piece of the past I had collected.
I wanted crawl back into the tapestry of his cotton skin. When I found myself buzzing in the face of anxiety, I flew to the sound of his voice that lived in the center of calm. When the prickle of loneliness crept up and nestled behind my neck, I dove back into the crook of his arms. When I wanted to run to him I did; letting my lids fall, and our chapters race over me as they came.
-b
I’m going to take with me the cotton from your skin.
The one that cloaks me.
I’m going to take with me the electricity from your lips.
The one awakens me.
I’m going to take with me the strength from your arms.
And the love they give me.
I’m going to take with me the purity from your eyes.
The one that caged me.
I’m going to take with me a bottle of your words.
To remember how you fed me.
I’m going to take with me the strings from your heart, and the sand from under your nails from where me met. I’m going to take with me the thunder at the end of your tongue and the story we wrote in the cupboard of your ribcage.
I’m going to take with me your spirit tangled in the spirals of your hair.
I wish I could take you with me.
I wish I could take you with me.
Jorge.
People asked me how I could possibly love someone after a mere few days. Awkwardly, I never had an answer. But I knew how, it was just too hard to articulate. When we were in the same room, the air became calm, and the parts of my skin that always felt rigid, began to collapse in comfort. I knew because every thought that poured off of his tongue, I could never drink fast enough. Because I could think as loudly as I wanted around him, and he let me stumble until I excavated every thought. When his were lips on my most wanting flesh, traveling to the area of electric desire, I watched the way his shoulders moved. The elegant muscles of his back, choreographed perfectly; the tangled dance of my beautiful creature. I knew I loved him because all of the wants, and needs, and secrets, I held in the romantic attic of my mind, he echoed back to me; in our strange, and sometimes overwhelming connection. I knew I loved him because even as a writer, and even though we don’t share the same first languag,he some how always had the words for the ones I didn’t. He was perfect in every atom of my vision. He was the feeling of both relief and exhilaration after the first drops of a hot shower. He was the companion for the lonely gaps between my fingers. He was the ocean that crashes with your eardrums, always creating brief moments of delirious ecstasy. The perfect mold against my body. He was home.
-b
I am living in the cocoon
of a cradle. The tin can
at the end of the string
to your heart.
Time passes to my looming
demise and I stay still
with the sand in a books
telling spine.
I exhale you, I inhale us.
A world tossed down the alley
towards a tough crowd of pins and I watch the spin.
away we go.
-b
Your lips burn
holes to release
the water in my lungs.
I am hugged
by the waves of my own purged
silence.
-b
Eat Pray Love
Elizabeth Gilbert
